Zach

I love Zach. He's the guy who hired me. He left Gamestop to become an arborist. Pretty cool. He's an employee of life, and he's doing a baller job in my estimation.

I love him so much that I'd leave my ornery hipster boyfriend so I could date Zach, also ornery and a hipster. He has fuzzy earphones and rides a road bike. He likes Built to Spill and mocked me for not making it. He also was at Gogol Bordello, which gives him 1000+ Awesome Points.

He's the shit.

The end.