Shut. Up.

bark bark bark bark bark

My dog doesn't shut up. Stupid dog. All she does is walk in front of me while playing my XB and put her butt in my line of vision. Then when you don't pay attention, she's like yipyipyipyip. If I wanted to deal with this shit, I'd get a roommate.

Annoying.

Fraternitus Boyicus

Kris: and hence forth, every Friday night shall be Beer Pong Friday. Much booze shall be had. So decreeth our brethren.

Dinah: And, he who shalt partake of the ass of the grabbing thenceforce must proceed with caution, for the damsels grow much weary of the knights in shining Abercrombie.

P-P-P-Poker Face

You haven't lived until you've seen your British District Manager dancing to Lady Gaga in the middle of your store on a busy day. Needless to say, I've lived a lot.

You Wouldn't Like Her When She's Angry

BadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerMUSHROOMMUSHROOM.

No More EDGE Cards Pt.2

This is a picture of Kris. This is to advertise that the EDGE card is no more. There are a few things you can do to remedy this.

1) Upgrade for free. All you have to do is give us your email and we will spam you.
2) Keep your useless EDGE card.
3) Don't renew. This makes you an asshole.

It's a lose-lose-lose situation.

Scoot

Scoot is a former employee of Elmwood who was shipped over to Luling to rule over his own dominion.

CHECK THIS OUT. SCOOT ON SCOOT.

No More EDGE Cards Pt.1

Well, we recently (i.e. a month and a half ago?) switched over to the PowerUp Rewards program. It's depressing because all those widdle Edge cards have gone to waste. It's almost as depressing as all those wasted copies of Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'hul video game that no one will buy.

This piece evokes the sadness and ultimate betrayal of an old program. Oh, who am I kidding? The PowerUp cards are so much sexier.

DIABEETUS

DIABEETUS.

I'm an artiste. Check out that resemblance.

It's the End of the World As We Know It...

...and I feel fiiiiiine~

Cake. Will. Kill. You.

At the end of the world, Cake will come flying in on a horse with the other three horsemen, Ice Cream, Sprinkles and Miley Cyrus.

The Peeps of GameStop Pt.3

 

I"M OLD GREGGGGGG 

Brittany is the most adorable person alive. I sometimes wonder how I can be equally as adorable and then quit, knowing I'll just end up looking weird and jailbait-ish.

Greg. Well. He's not really short, but for some reason (probably because I'm borderline blind with little to no height perception) I think he's a midget. He's probably taller than me. I even think I'm almost as tall as my 6'4" brother, but scientific factz will prove otherwise.

Nature's Call

 

"Call of Booty, Black Cocks." -Zach.

How did I know you wanted your copy of Call of Duty? Because you're unoriginal, like everybody else. This isn't to suggest that it is a bad thing, but sharing a playing arena with middle aged men and prepubescent twat waffles has lost its inherent charm.

Angry Vibes

 

 

 Brett Lafrance of the Vapo Rats. Not truly as pissy as this picture lets on, but he does have the nature of a rabid weasel (90% of the time).

Legit drawing!

Kris: look at Dinah's sexy drawing skills~

Dinah: The things you can do with sharpies and ignoring customers!

Zach

I love Zach. He's the guy who hired me. He left Gamestop to become an arborist. Pretty cool. He's an employee of life, and he's doing a baller job in my estimation.

I love him so much that I'd leave my ornery hipster boyfriend so I could date Zach, also ornery and a hipster. He has fuzzy earphones and rides a road bike. He likes Built to Spill and mocked me for not making it. He also was at Gogol Bordello, which gives him 1000+ Awesome Points.

He's the shit.

The end.

Master of GameStop

Kris: look how manly he is~

Dinah: God. I love my manager. In a platonic way. He's just so easygoing and nice and he just stands on mountains beaming awesome and win.

The only person he ever fears in our ever-looming District Manager. But he shouldn't. He's awesome.

GameStop TV

"That creepy bitch! That weird dude with the stupid name!" "Do I have to listen to the stupid song again?"

Any fool who has been to Gamestop will recognize these monitors of doom, the stupid ass TVs blaring Gamestop TV. I'd be more enthused if they weren't playing 30 Seconds to Mars' latest Daughtry imitation album and the doom that is that obnoxious chick and generically geeky guy who always start off every advertorial with some rhetorical question that could be widely applicable ("Do you like waffles? Then you'll love Hello Kitty vs. Street Fighter III!")

I wouldn't be quite as pissed if I haven't been rendered completely DEAF because of these TVs. When some angry housewife is bitching at me about pricing or how I just ignored her because I'm too busy actually WORKING, I just have to nod and then ask, in a Meatwad voice, "Do what now?"

And then the stupid commercials which usually have some combination of 1) terrible jokes that border on obnoxious 2) classical and/or variations of songs I don't care about and 3) that stupid Big Bang Theory show. I hate that show. I hate that Sheldon dipshit. I want to rip out his testicles so that he'll be rendered unable to reproduce.

I've got more, but this much rage isn't healthy.

First post!

This piece is about my love for Pocky, and how I would continue eating it regardless of the fact there are burning stick people in the background. Note the use of perspective and the use of modern calligraphy.

I'M SUCH AN ARTISTIC GENIUS! My parents were wrong about my retardism.